What Southerners Need To Know About Northern Winters
Years ago on a visit to my hometown
in the south I remember having a conversation with a family friend about the
amount of snow Albany gets each winter. His reaction was “Your kids must have
to change their wet clothes several times a day after playing in it!” The
subsequent discussion we had about “the great invention called snow pants” stuck with me
and since then I’ve tried to pay attention to the wintertime hassles that would
probably astonish most southerners.
When a city has to deal with sixty
or so inches of snowfall a season, it comes well-equipped with road salt and
plows, of course. But have you ever stopped to consider that you can’t just
push the white stuff—which soon turns revolting shades of gray, brown, or
black—to the side? Businesses with huge parking lots like malls and
supermarkets have to pay companies with big trucks to haul it away and dump it
elsewhere. Otherwise you’d quickly have unsightly mountains at several
locations on your property disturbing traffic flow and blocking the vision of
drivers. In particularly snowy months homeowners have a hard time tossing the
snow to the top of the piles lining their driveway. For those who live downtown it becomes a
nearly impossible task.
Another thing about food shopping is
the ordeal of having to push your shopping cart to your car over bumps of ice
and snow. The strength it takes to shove that wiggly four-wheeled buggy overloaded
with groceries is undoubtedly good for your muscles but frustrating to the
point of feeling impossible. Maybe someone could invent a northern version of Zumba
involving dancing through parking lots with carts to winter-themed music! Naw,
it would never catch on.
One thing I never imagined is that
too much snow built up on the top of your house can back up under your shingles
and leak inside or even cause the roof to cave in. Seriously! To remedy this
somewhat rare but real possibility, roof rakes were invented. Naturally, only the
foolish stand up on the roof during these precarious times, but the idea is to
attempt to scrape as much snow off as you can from the ground holding this
long-handled tool. A lot of it lands right in your face, sure, but the roof is
safe and sound!
Why do people live up there, you’re
probably asking yourself at this point. A very good question worthy of
deliberation…many times a winter! Well, snow is pretty when it’s falling and
coating all the shrubbery. The crystalline trees sparkle once the sun comes
out. Our houses and pipes are well-insulated; there’s usually no need to run
water from faucets during a cold snap. Oh, who am I kidding! I’d rather be
dealing with sunburns and admiring palm trees.
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